Wow. It allows you to move on with your life without any false hope of getting her back. [Read: 15 life lessons you can learn from your own break ups] Helping a friend deal with a breakup. After a week, though, I started to wonder if I was cramping her style â or maybe reminding her too much of what was going on. Rebound relationships hurt your chances of healing faster from the breakup. If you live nearby enough, offer to help your friend redecorate their space, clear out their closet, get a haircut, or otherwise get their fresh start. Of course, you have to set the boundaries that are right for you (and the people you live with) but just stating explicitly that your place is a safe space is super useful to hear, even it seems obvious to you. The psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman, Psy.D., told Glamour that “most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship.”. Help your friend with their responsibilities; i.e., house cleaning, car maintenance, food preparation, or anything else that may get swept under the rug in times of grief. As someone in the midst of this, I decided to give Liana a call and ask her what her friends have been doing that's been helpful as she goes through this breakup. "If it's a more prolonged breakup, like where you're still living together, more check-ins are good âyou're reminded every day what's happening anyway, so the check-ins are just reminders that you're not alone.". An accomplished author, Tracee has written two books on the topic of personal soul excavation and deep healing from soul to body. As the relationship expert Susan Winter told Elite Daily, it’s a good idea to prepare in advance, maybe by practicing what you’ll tell her in front of the mirror. Here are nine tips that you can put into practice right now to speed up the healing process: As men, we often try to hide our emotions to avoid being perceived as weak. Tracee’s published articles cover many subjects related to spirituality and relationships while her blog breaks down current events and daily energy dynamics that everyone experiences. Let’s face it, break-up’s happen, and the second most popular time of the year for people to break up is two weeks before Christmas. Otherwise, “he will either not be truly himself emotionally (usually to protect himself from getting hurt) or he will be a mess of emotions and turn the woman off,” says Bacon. Even if you somehow manage to never experience a bad breakup yourself, all of us will have at least one friend going through a bad breakup at some point. What's a friend to do? Be Clear About the Time & Energy You have for Listening. "I feel like I've experienced so many things in relation to how [my ex] would see them over the last few years," Liana says. After you’ve had the chance to get the bad feelings off your chest, ask them to distract you from your ex by hanging out with you. And when you break up, that thing dies and it hurts. If they need a couch to crash on for the night, or just to come over and vent, it's key you make it explicit that they aren't imposing. According to the dating expert Dan Bacon, a guy needs time to recover from a breakup before entering a new relationship. No worries, we’re here to help you deal with the pain and get over your ex as soon as possible! You can listen, you can make your opinion known, you can set boundaries, offer support and help â but you can't fix their pain. And I’ll be sure to get back as soon as I’m able. If you expect yourself to fix things, you're making their breakup about you â and that's actually selfish. A friend listens or says what you want to hear, a healer tells you what you need to hear. It’s important to ask what your friend wants or needs from you. Even when it's a friend and you're just there for emotional support, no one likes to watch their friend suffering. After the grieving phase is over, you’ll be able to learn from these mistakes, so you won’t make them anymore in your next relationship.